Category: life lately

All over the place

~ Maggie ~ 3 Comments

One of the things on my extensive list of things to do today was to write a blogpost. I did finish almost everything else on that list but now I’m so crazy tired that I can hardly think. But I still want to post something. Skipping more than one week usually leads to skipping months and I just don’t want that.

I was kind of hoping to be able to write a knitting update, but truth to be told, I’ve hardly been knitting these days. It’s so crazy hot and humid, that even knitting with cotton doesn’t really feel so great. Also, I’ve had a headache that lasted over a week and while knitting is relaxing, trying to figure out how to finish a top with too little yarn for the obvious ways, isn’t.

Between headaches I have been working on my computer, but I spent that time working on my Dutch blog. The tiny bit of income I have comes from people who read my books, so it was time to reconnect with them a bit. I also have to prepare a blogpost for that blog today, but I thought I’d give you guys a little update first. If only I knew about what…

There’s a lot going on in my mind, but I don’t think I can put everything into words in a way that I won’t mind being out there for everyone to read. I’m still struggling with feeling at home and I’m really irritated with myself about that. I have to say though, it doesn’t help that it’s so hot these days. I’m trying to tell myself to just wait it out, do only what really needs to be done and after we’re back from the Netherlands, it will be a bit cooler. At least I hope so.

This morning I tried to film myself doing household chores, because I still have this idea in my head that I may want to start doing YouTube some day. Well… let’s just say I’ll need to get used to seeing myself moving around. I was thinking: gosh, I look like an older woman. Yeah, that could be right. I am 52 after all. In my mind I’m still 18 though, so I’m always a bit shocked when I see myself. And of course all the girls women I watch on Youtube are a lot younger -and fitter- than me. But that’s exactly why I think I should try. I’d like to see more normal women over 50 doing clean-with-me videos and vlogs.

My goodness, this post is all over the place, isn’t it? But I guess that’s a good image of what my mind is doing right now. I just can’t focus.

Anyway. Wishing you all a great start to your week. I will check in Thursday (I think) with that knitting update.

(that picture? Yeah, another one of my crazy ideas… show my face more often. Oh well, I’m just going to leave it. But please don’t start telling me I should do make-up. I don’t really like make-up, but it would just rinse of my face with all the sweating I’m doing these days, so it’s just no use.)

Happy

~ Maggie ~ 2 Comments

Things that make me happy right now:

:: we booked flights for an impromptu visit to The Netherlands in September. Orignally we planned to wait until December, but we both felt we needed to go earlier. We’ll be staying for a week only , but we already planned a visit to each of the girls’ homes and a gathering at our place with all of them. Of course we will be visiting my father too. It will be extremely busy, but I’m really looking forward to it.

:: I’ve been writing! I feel like maybe I shouldn’t jinx it, after years of writer’s block, but I have added 2,000 words to a story that has been sitting in my drafts for over two years.

:: the cushion covers I bought for our (outside) couch. The old ones were literally falling apart, so it was time. I really love this color.

:: there was enough of the blue yarn to finish that last stripe after all. Small victories…

:: flowers. Even though we’re now in the hottest and most humid period of the year, nature is not suffering any more (thanks to the humidity, I guess). Trees and plants are flowering.

What makes you happy today?

A Friday post (or: can’t think of a good title for this one)

~ Maggie ~ 2 Comments

I’m afraid this will be a bit of a non-post. I’m just not feeling it this week, but I really, really want to keep blogging. I so admire people who can just post a few times a week, every single week, on a schedule. I wish I was that steady, but I’m not.. I am trying though, so a Friday post must be written.

In the past few weeks I’ve been going through my blog archives, adding in pictures that got lost in the many starts and stops. Only a few are lost for ever, the rest is back. Phew! Next I would like to work on my categories, but that will have to wait a little bit longer. It was a bit of an emotional rollercoaster reading through so many years (my blog turns 17 in September) of my life – and being triggered to remember the things I didn’t write about. I feel like I have a bit of processing to do. But I think that’s actually a good thing. Some things were not processed when I should have done it.

(imagine a lot of very private things been written and then deleted here – at least five times)… Anyway…

Wishing you all a great weekend!

Right now

~ Maggie ~ Leave a comment

Right now I am…

… trying to wake up. I slept very well tonight and I got up rather late, but it seems I could use even more sleep (had a bad case of insomnia the last two weeks)

… enjoying the morning light. We’re nearing zenith (i e. the sun will be directly above us) and the sun is extremely bright these days. I do like it, but this softer, golden light is really nice too

… preparing for a day of computer work. I have to do taxes and payments

… not too unhappy about that – it’s going to be another hot, hot day

… hoping I can get myself to do a bit of exercise though. I started that this weekend and it feels so good

… wishing you all a wonderful day

Ten things

~ Maggie ~ 6 Comments

Ten things that make me happy right now:

Sunsets. Of course. But also the fact that we’re trying to actually sit on the porch and watch them again. It’s the little things that count

    Headspace. I’ve been completely off Instagram and Youtube for a week now. My goodness. I had no idea mindless scrolling took so much mental energy. Well, to be honest, I suspected it, but I didn’t want to admit it might be better to quit doing that. But it is.

    Knitting. When it clicks, that is, and it did. I’m happily knitting away on the BSJ and I’m thinking to start being active on Ravelry (I have a sleeping account to be able to view patterns) again, just for fun

    Seeing some progress in the garden and actually enjoying working at it. . I do believe I’ll get it under control soon.

    Cats, birds, iguana’s. Love watching them.

    Counting down the days until we go to The Netherlands. Can’t wait to see our grandson. When we last saw him, he was only 18 days old. He wll be 5 months when we see him again.

    The plans T. and I are talking about, for the house and the land we have. It will take years to complete, but we are slowly getting to the point where we know what we want, instead of just calling out possibilities (love those talks too, by the way).

    The wisdom (?) that comes with time. Not too long ago I wasn’t too happy with the plans I mentioned above, since it meant I had to give up my dream to cultivate all the land we have into a giant botanical garden. I’ve always dreamt of maintaining a really, really big garden, but in the past few years I’ve learnt that I’m not a “niche” person, nor will I ever be. I love gardening, but I also want to have time to knit, sew, write, cook and who knows what else I come up with. And I’m not getting any younger. So I’m happy with the two big lots I have to play with (still more land than we ever owned before), but I’m also happy that it’s getting more and more clear what parts will be used for other things eventually.

    My plants. I bought a new one when I was grocery shopping this week. I love the name on the tag: African Queen. I don’t know what species it is, though. Google tells me there are a lot of plants that are called African Queen.

    Being able to list ten things I’m happy about (yeah, I know, I’m kind of cheating here). The cloud of depression is finally lifting, slowly, but steadily.

    And you? What makes you happy today?

    Wishing you all a great start to your week!

    Monday musings

    ~ Maggie ~ 8 Comments

    Happy Easter Monday!

    Is that a thing where you are? It is in the Netherlands, and also here on the island. So despite my intention to start full on blogging again, I’m now on my phone, trying to at least post something, while we’re still in long-weekend mode.

    Today is also Seú, the harvest parade, and one day we’ll go and watch that, but I think we’re staying home today.

    Our weekend wasn’t a typical Holiday weekend, but it was a good one. We moved our new batteries (150 pounds each) to their spot in the garage, cleaned out said garage (which is not an actual garage, too small for even a tiny car to fit in, but it has a garage door) and than I also cleaned out the shed (which is not an actual shed – remember the little outdoot toilet? we converted that to storage for tools).

    I’m always surprised by the amount of trash I end up with after a good clean out. I’m pretty sure we don’t deliberately throw trash in those spaces. Anyway, things look a lot better and organized now.

    Tomorrow marks one year since we traveled to The Netherlands in a panic because my father was very ill and then stayed until late August to help him move to a care home and take care of emptying out his apartment. I can’t explain exactly how, but that time messed me up so badly. I am grateful we got to do all that, but I feel like the tiny bit of roots I had finally planted here were torn off. I didn’t feel at home in The Netherlands either, but I’ve been struggling with being back here too. I’m always on edge because it is inevitable that we will get that phonecall again. I know we won’t have to stay for months again if that happens, but my mind is telling me not to settle down, because I am afraid will be uprooted again. I am trying to fight it, but it’s hard. My first focus is always to get the house and the garden in a “we can leave immediately” state. I haven’t even been enjoying working in the garden; I’m just trying to prepare it to be ignored again.

    I switched to my laptop to write that last part, because typing that on a tiny on screen keyboard was impossible. I wasn’t planning on writing about it, but I think I’m going to post it anyway. Don’t worry, I am working on it. The first step in healing is to know what you’re healing from, isn’t it? And putting it out there may be just the thing I needed to do to make it more tangible.

    Anyway, I didn’t mean to make this a sad post again. The sky is blue, the sun is shining and the birds are singing. It’s going to be a good day.

    Wishing you all a great Monday and a good start to your week!

    (unrelated picture of a Warawara – I love their haughty attitude)

    Checking in

    ~ Maggie ~ 10 Comments

    No, I didn’t quit blogging again. I just skipped a post and than another one and before I knew it I stopped blogging completely and had a hard time starting again. I’ve been thinking about blogging a lot, but somehow I couldn’t find my way back. I kept thinking that I needed something worth posting about and nothing seemed important enough to sit down and write about. Silly, I know. Did I ever write about something important? It’s all just simple day-to-day things around here. Knitting, cooking, gardening, pretty flowers, beautiful sunsets… you know the drill.

    But I guess that’s just the problem. A lot of things happened, but nothing I tend to blog about. My husband had a health scare (a new one – I’m used to some things, but this one was different), my father went through another round of pneumonia, I managed to burn myself badly (my teapot spontaneously broke just when I topped it off with boiling water) and my daughter came over for two weeks vacation but got some very sad news while she was here. It’s just life happening, but I guess there’s a limit to what one can handle in just a few weeks.

    Anyway, I’m going to try to get back to it. I feel a bit rusty, but it’s time. I did miss talking to you all.

    Today I just wanted to check in and say hi. Next week I’m going to try “real posts” again (whatever that may mean).

    Wishing you all a wonderful Easter weekend and I hope to be back here on Monday!

    So much pink

    ~ Maggie ~ 2 Comments

    In other garden news ( I know… I hope to have something else to blog about soon): I really, really want to have a lot of bougainvillea in my garden. So when our neighbor was cutting his back, we asked for some branches to take cuttings.

    If they all root (that can take 3-4 months!) we will have plenty of bright pink in our garden. But to be completely honest, I have never done this before, so just hope one of them will grow up to be a big shrub like our neighbor’s.

    I collected the flowers to dry them. They are supposed to have some medical use (need to do a bit more research on that), but I also really like the color. It will be fun to have a jar of them around.

    Back at it (hopefully)

    ~ Maggie ~ 4 Comments

    Oh hi! Sorry for disappearing on you. I was very determined to keep posting three times a week, but when I realized that all my posts would end up with just me whining about feeling sick, I decided to not do that.

    Yes, I was sick again. Or maybe, still sick (I’ve been on and off since September), I don’t know. I had a fever this time, though I’m not sure how high it actually was. I did temp myself and it was quite high for about 10 days, but then I bought a new thermometer (the old one was falling apart and the battery was dying) and that one displayed completely different (lower) temperatures. So weird, but T. had a technological explanation for it, so I now believe the new one. And just like that, I’m fever free. But still very, very tired. I did some garden work over the weekend, but today I just can’t get my body into action and that is so frustrating. The fever was a good reason to rest, but now I feel like I’m just being lazy.

    Anyway, this is exactly what I didn’t want to do. I’m going to try to get back on the bandwagon and post garden pictures and things like that (knitting? yeah, that would be fun – I seem to have lost my mojo though), but if I don’t… well, you now know why that would be.

    Wishing you all a great week!