Right now

~ Maggie ~ 2 Comments

Right now I am…

… not capable of writing a cohesive blogpost about one single subject. So I decided to go with a right now post today.

… feeling a cool wind blowing. So happy with that.

… hearing birds singing. They like the cooler weather too. Sadly, I can’t hear them too well. I’ve been fighting an ear infection for two weeks now and it still hasn’t cleared up

… looking at the garden and having mixed feelings about it. I’m very happy that it’s growing so well and that things are so green right now, but it does need some work and I’m not sure when I’ll feel up to swinging pick axes and other big tools for all the weeding and pruning I need to do.

… binge reading Katie Fforde. I really like how British her books are and I love that her characters (both men and women) are normal people, not the unrealistic perfect beings so many feel good/romance novels seem to have.

… hoping to get a bit more productive later in the week (that infection will clear up soon, yes?). There are so many things I’d like to do and so many things I need to do.

… not knitting as much as I want to (because of all the reading), but I am having fun with that hat (I’ll share an update later this week).

… trying to think ahead. We’ll leave for The Netherlands in less than five weeks and we’ll stay there four weeks. I want to leave the house behind clean and the garden… well, I guess I should let go of the idea to make it perfect before we go. It’s the rainy season, things grow so fast now. But it would be nice if I had some maintenance done.

… telling myself to take time to get better first though, and not to overdo it as soon as I feel better (as I normally do), because I really want to feel good when we’re in The Netherlands. We have a grandson to play with, Christmas to celebrate, a daughter getting married and lots of family to visit.

… wishing you all a great start to your week.

Casting on

~ Maggie ~ 7 Comments

As always other knitters posting about what they’re making their family for Christmas inspire me to pick up the needles and make some gifts too. I didn’t want to overwhelm myself though, so I thought I’d start by making a hat for my grandson. But then I remembered keeping hats on one year olds (and older toddlers) is quite hard. My girls all had those hats that are attached to neckwarmers. Do you know what I mean? Google didn’t. But I persevered and eventually found out (on Ravelry) that these hats are called balaclava’s. Who knew? (we don’t have a word for it in Dutch as far as I know)

Of course Ravelry has an overwhelming amount of patterns with very beautiful and intricate designs, but my knitting has been so off this year* that I chose this simple one. I have just the right yarn for it. Really soft and in a color that will go with whatever color coat he’ll have.

It’s still a big pattern to work through and patterns intimidate me even when I feel perfectly fine. I prefer winging it, but I can’t figure out how to construct a hat like this. But I have made things that are far more intricate than this, so I should be able to do it. I’ll keep you posted!

(*I deleted a long rant about my not-knitting-much this year. I think I’ve mentioned it before; it’s all connected. Depression, no knitting, no blogging. But I’m fighting my way back.)

I’m okay

~ Maggie ~ 2 Comments

Not the most comfortable way to hang out, if you ask me…

At night, when I can’t sleep (and that’s most nights), I make up blog posts in my mind, telling you – in careful chosen words – how I’ve been struggling mentally these past few months. But in the morning all those words have faded away and I sit at my computer, wanting to write, but without words to explain what’s going on.

Because, honestly, I’m not sure what’s going on. I’m okay. Life is good. We’re still living on the island, in our beautiful home. Our children are doing great. Our youngest daughter is getting married in January and our grandson will be one year old soon. My father is hanging on to life and enjoying the (few) simple things he still can do. My husband’s health isn’t worse than it’s been for the past few years. My health… well, nothing major going on there either.

So… just a chemical inbalance in my brain, I guess. It will pass. It always does. I just need to wait it out.

The fact that I really, really want to get back to blogging is a good sign actually. So there’s that. And I may even be tempted to pick up my knitting needles soon. I will be okay.

A little thrift haul

~ Maggie ~ 2 Comments

Nope, not a knitting update. I don’t want to be whining about that constantly, so let’s pretend I never promised. I do have a little thrift haul to show you.

Let’s get this one out of the way first My husband is a smoker, and yes, I know, and he knows too. And that’s all I’m gonna say about it. I just wanted to explain that we need ashtrays. I was really pleased with myself about this one. Not only is it really beautiful (the colors), it’s quite heavy. So it won’t blow off the table when it gets windy (we have a lot of wind here – if we’re lucky, because that cools things down a bit). It took me a while to realize that people don’t use ash trays like this one around here, because the ashes and butts will blow out. Oops. Fail. I think this one needs to go back to the thrift store, unless I can find some other use for it. I do wish I could find plates, bowls or cups in those colors…

This one is silly, but there’s a reason for it. When this slogan was all the rage, I really liked it, but I couldn’t afford any of the merchandise. I eventually bought a post card, but that was it and it didn’t survive the move here. So yeah, this one needed to come home with me. But now I don’t really know what to do with it. Oh well, I’ll find a place for it.

Isn’t this little egg tray fun? My usual breakfast is two boiled eggs, so I imagine using this instead of the little glass bowl I’ve been using for years now.

Of course I didn’t leave without some fun glass. I really love this little apple. It even has a little leave engraved. I don’t know what to use it for. I think it’s meant for apple sauce or apple compote, but we don’t eat that. And fall decor isn’t a thing here (we don’t have fall). But I do like it.

This book is called: “Why we are always short in time and other irrational behavior”. I like reading books that teach me how the human mind (and more specifically my own mind) works.

This sign says “Nobody gets a program of the concert of life”. My grandparents had one like this and a little while ago I was thinking I needed to look for one when we are in the Netherlands, because I could need a reminder of that. Not of my grandparents, though that’s a nice bonus, but of the truth in these words. No one can predict what will happen, that’s just not how it works, but I struggle with that a lot.

I have to admit I was a bit influenced with this one. I have been watching way too many thrift hauls videos and the girls that find the kind of stuff I’m into are always really excited about boxes. Because these are the witchy girls that have crystals and candles and tarotcards to put in those boxes. I don’t have any (or many – in the case of crystals) of those, but when I saw this at the checkout my mind told me: “A box! A beautiful box! We need that!” So I snatched it up. And now I don’t know what to put in it. Sewing stuff, pens, tea…? We’ll see. I do really like it.

I actually went to the store because I saw they had this on their facebook page. It’s a stool, that turns into a little step ladder when you fold out the steps. It’s missing a step and it needs some work, but it’s sturdy. As soon as the temperatures go down a bit I’m going to paint it, replace the seat and the steps with something nice and it will be beautiful. I’ve always wanted one of these (I think my grandmother had one), so I’m very happy with it.

I know, it’s a weird little collection. But that’s what I got. What’s your favorite?

All over the place

~ Maggie ~ 3 Comments

One of the things on my extensive list of things to do today was to write a blogpost. I did finish almost everything else on that list but now I’m so crazy tired that I can hardly think. But I still want to post something. Skipping more than one week usually leads to skipping months and I just don’t want that.

I was kind of hoping to be able to write a knitting update, but truth to be told, I’ve hardly been knitting these days. It’s so crazy hot and humid, that even knitting with cotton doesn’t really feel so great. Also, I’ve had a headache that lasted over a week and while knitting is relaxing, trying to figure out how to finish a top with too little yarn for the obvious ways, isn’t.

Between headaches I have been working on my computer, but I spent that time working on my Dutch blog. The tiny bit of income I have comes from people who read my books, so it was time to reconnect with them a bit. I also have to prepare a blogpost for that blog today, but I thought I’d give you guys a little update first. If only I knew about what…

There’s a lot going on in my mind, but I don’t think I can put everything into words in a way that I won’t mind being out there for everyone to read. I’m still struggling with feeling at home and I’m really irritated with myself about that. I have to say though, it doesn’t help that it’s so hot these days. I’m trying to tell myself to just wait it out, do only what really needs to be done and after we’re back from the Netherlands, it will be a bit cooler. At least I hope so.

This morning I tried to film myself doing household chores, because I still have this idea in my head that I may want to start doing YouTube some day. Well… let’s just say I’ll need to get used to seeing myself moving around. I was thinking: gosh, I look like an older woman. Yeah, that could be right. I am 52 after all. In my mind I’m still 18 though, so I’m always a bit shocked when I see myself. And of course all the girls women I watch on Youtube are a lot younger -and fitter- than me. But that’s exactly why I think I should try. I’d like to see more normal women over 50 doing clean-with-me videos and vlogs.

My goodness, this post is all over the place, isn’t it? But I guess that’s a good image of what my mind is doing right now. I just can’t focus.

Anyway. Wishing you all a great start to your week. I will check in Thursday (I think) with that knitting update.

(that picture? Yeah, another one of my crazy ideas… show my face more often. Oh well, I’m just going to leave it. But please don’t start telling me I should do make-up. I don’t really like make-up, but it would just rinse of my face with all the sweating I’m doing these days, so it’s just no use.)

Happy

~ Maggie ~ 2 Comments

Things that make me happy right now:

:: we booked flights for an impromptu visit to The Netherlands in September. Orignally we planned to wait until December, but we both felt we needed to go earlier. We’ll be staying for a week only , but we already planned a visit to each of the girls’ homes and a gathering at our place with all of them. Of course we will be visiting my father too. It will be extremely busy, but I’m really looking forward to it.

:: I’ve been writing! I feel like maybe I shouldn’t jinx it, after years of writer’s block, but I have added 2,000 words to a story that has been sitting in my drafts for over two years.

:: the cushion covers I bought for our (outside) couch. The old ones were literally falling apart, so it was time. I really love this color.

:: there was enough of the blue yarn to finish that last stripe after all. Small victories…

:: flowers. Even though we’re now in the hottest and most humid period of the year, nature is not suffering any more (thanks to the humidity, I guess). Trees and plants are flowering.

What makes you happy today?

Not good

~ Maggie ~ 5 Comments

Yes, that’s actually a lot of progress since last week (for my currently not-so-great knitting mojo, that is) and I was finally getting into the zone. I love when that happens. I was happily knitting along and thinking about how to finish this top, even playing around (in my mind) with some creative options. I felt like I was almost at the spot where I could part for the sleeves and I thought I had enough yarn to even be thinking about making a real tanktop (that I would actually wear) instead of just a tube with shoulderbands.

But…

That blue tanktop underneath my knitting fits me perfectly. I could do a slightly shorter version (this one is quite long), but I would loose length when the knitting stretches sideways. And it will have to do that to fit. Ahem. So I really have to make it longer.

Also:

That’s all that’s left of the blue. I was convinced I had two skeins of this, but I can’t find the second one anywhere. I’m not even sure if I can get a full stripe out of this, let alone do at least one more repeat.

Oops. Back to the drawing table…

(to be continued)

A system (or not)

~ Maggie ~ 2 Comments

They seem to have a system for taking turns to eat the sugar we put out, but since we can’t tell them apart, it’s hard to figure out what system that is.

If they have any. Maybe it’s just our human minds that are wired to try and find patterns in utter chaos. These birds are kind of smart though. If we forget to feed them, they start doing fly-bys until we remember. Funny little creatures!

Progress

~ Maggie ~ 2 Comments

I’m still going… well, semi-strong. I try to pick it up every day and the color changes keep it interesting.

I would have preferred to do it without the blue, but I also want this top to cover my stomach and without the blue I was certain it wouldn’t. With the blue I’m about 75% sure I will have enough, so fingers crossed. I’m to old for the cropped top look.

A Friday post (or: can’t think of a good title for this one)

~ Maggie ~ 2 Comments

I’m afraid this will be a bit of a non-post. I’m just not feeling it this week, but I really, really want to keep blogging. I so admire people who can just post a few times a week, every single week, on a schedule. I wish I was that steady, but I’m not.. I am trying though, so a Friday post must be written.

In the past few weeks I’ve been going through my blog archives, adding in pictures that got lost in the many starts and stops. Only a few are lost for ever, the rest is back. Phew! Next I would like to work on my categories, but that will have to wait a little bit longer. It was a bit of an emotional rollercoaster reading through so many years (my blog turns 17 in September) of my life – and being triggered to remember the things I didn’t write about. I feel like I have a bit of processing to do. But I think that’s actually a good thing. Some things were not processed when I should have done it.

(imagine a lot of very private things been written and then deleted here – at least five times)… Anyway…

Wishing you all a great weekend!