:: progress on the more boring tasks in my life. End of year bookkeeping, taxes and annual accounts for six (small) bussinesses. I always have to kick myself to start and then I remember how easy it is. Actually, I even like doing this. I should remember that next year.
:; plans and decisions about the rest of my work. I feel like I bit off more than I can chew, trying to maintain (and grow) three blogs and hoping to write another book. I need to prioritize.
:: a swatch. So exciting, right? Well, actually I can’t really remember ever having done that before. I must have, because my reason for not doing it is that even after swatching and calculating and making things hard, I tend to end up with something wider or narrower than I intended. Oh, that’s right. I swatched before knitting my husband a sweater that somehow ended up big enough to house two men his size (realized that about half way in). Anyway, since I want to share a real pattern for my last hat, I thought I’d try to state the gauge I’m knitting in.
Yesterday I found out I lost track of the date. That may not sound alarming to you, but it’s really not like me. I tend to be an obsessive planner. I even wrote a blog about planners for a while, until my husband kindly (well, as kindly as he could muster up to his very stressed out and worked up planner wife) asked me to quit being so fanatic about it.
Anyway, we found out yesterday that we’re not flying to Bonaire (a neighboring island) on Tuesday, like I thought, but today. Ahem. I remembered the date correctly, but lost track of what date we were actually on. I guess that’s a good sign. I’m finally relaxing a bit.
I will be sharing the third hat tomorrow (hurray for being able to schedule posts), but I don’t know yet if I’ll be able to get online until Wednesday. Well, so be it. (See? Relaxed!)
The fourth hat is not coming along as fast as the others.I kept wondering why it didn’t look like the first version I made at all. I thought it had to do with using a different type of yarn and figured maybe it was trying to teach me a lesson about gauge and pattern writing. Hey, I don’t cook from recipes (and have a hard time telling people how exactly I made something), hardly ever use a pattern for knitting or sewing and write books by typing whatever comes to mind without any plotting. So why was I thinking I could write very precise patterns that other people would like to use and maybe even pay for?
But then it dawned to me that maybe my notes were wrong. The stitch pattern comes from my grandmother’s knitting book and was designed to be knit flat. What if I simply copied the original pattern but forgot I had to purl instead of knit and knit where it said purl? I dug up the original photo of the first version of this hat (the third photo in this post) and enlarged it until it was clear that indeed I had been mixing up knits and purls. So I frogged back to the brim and started over. This time it does look like the green hat. So I will be sharing my notes or maybe even a real (free) pattern after I finish it.
That could take a little while though, since I do have a bit of a problem with the cats here. I love having them around but I never really expected them to paly with my yarn. The last cat we owned was old. Ancient for a cat. We don’t know exactly since we got him from a shelter, but he was at least 21 when he died. He was constantly on my lap when I was knitting (I guess because that usually meant I wasn’t going to jump up to do something else for a while) and just slept through it. These cats though… well. I will get there eventually, but I have to put my knitting away when they’re around.
I’ve been seeing a few of these “Three on Thursday” posts around, read them and went my merry way, but yesterday it finally hit me. Three. I can do that! You see, I love blogging, but I tend to set my goals too high, fail miserably and usually quit blogging altogether. I was thinking about doing a ten things or a right now post each Friday and share 7 pictures (one for each day) in the same post. But it already started weighing on me. But three. I can do three. Three random things, three pictures. Totally doable. (still trying to relax about stuff like this) Also… I love linkups. Since I started participating in those I found so many fun blogs and nice people. Oh, and nice people finding me and my blog is wonderful too. Anyway. Three things.
1. This view. I’m sorry if these pictures of our view are boring you, but I just can’t get enough of it.
2. This cat. He decided to be ours during our stay. He’s a funny little fellow. We would take him home with us (the owners have too many cats and would happily part with this one) if only we knew where our home will be. We may be travelling a lot in the years ahead and we can’t do that to him (or any other pet we considered giving a home lately).
3. We went for a swim last Sunday. I actually forgot how good that feels. So silly. The lists of pros (it’s a mental list for now, but I’m considering writing down all the pros and cons of living on this island) is growing.
You can find more people sharing three things on Carole Knits
:: thinking I should not be writing a right now post a few days ahead of time
:: trying to accept that I have to do it this way to prevent myself from stressing out
:: smiling at myself for knowing that my word for 2018 “Relax” is chosen so well
:: feeling sad that the last two weeks were far from relaxed, but trying to accept that I’m a work in progress and that’s alright. I’m only human
:: still feeling a bit uneasy about the things happening in my life right now, but also feeling excited about it.
:: promising to talk about these things next week. I’m not trying to be secretive, I’m just having a hard time with some changes around here and need to work things out before telling the whole wide world about it 😉
:: not even able to remember how many times I tried to take a picture every day. I never made it through a whole year. But it’s fun to try.
Here’s my first week.
I was going to pick a favorite, but I can’t. I like the one of my glasses on my planner, but I also think the one from my parent’s church is quite nice. And that leaf on my honeysuckle (way too early!) isn’t too bad either. What’s your favorite?
(fireworks in surrounding villages – our tradition is to go outside and watch others set fire to their money 😉 )
I’m always excited to start a new year. I love a clean slate. I have to admit though that the last few years I find that transitioning into a new year is a lot like traveling: you can’t leave yourself behind. I woke up on January 1st feeling all excited about the new year, only to realize that I was very tired (since we traditionally start a new year by going to bed real late). We had a slow morning and in the afternoon we picked up two of the girls to go visit my parents (a one hour drive away from us). My brother was at my parent’s too and we talked for a while. That’s something we usually don’t seem to get to, so that was good. But his life isn’t easy at the moment, and I found that our conversation resonated through my night. One day into the new year and here I was, worrying my sleep time away. Got to work on that, I guess. I tell myself that it would be alright to worry if that would really help someone, but since it doesn’t, it’s a waste of time. My word for 2018 is “relax” and that’s not an easy goal.
Anyway. Knitting. I spent the afternoon of the 31st unpicking and frogging this sweater. It’s funny to look at that picture, since I don’t look that fat on it, but that sweater was way too big on me now. It looked ridiculous, so I never wore it anymore. And since I got that (very expensive) yarn as a birthday present from my husband, I decided to give it a second chance. First I wanted to make a smaller sweater, but it’s a combination of silk and wool with a lovely drape. I’m not sure that drape will work for a fitted sweater (it was a bit of a problem the first time around). So I’m making a shawl now (also eliminating the size problem if I put on weight again or loose even more).
I finished the second green hat on New Year’s eve, but that one will get it’s own post. My knitting plans for 2018:
finish that shawl
make myself a sweater/cardigan that fits
or maybe two (one to wear when working in the garden (my shalom is way too big too – even after shrinking it deliberately), one to wear inside if I’m cold)
hats. It’s not a good example of being relaxed to commit to challenges, so maybe I shouldn’t, but I’m still contemplating a “52 hats” challenge this year. I bought some yarn to start, so maybe I’ll just give it a (relaxed) try.
gifts. I would love to be able to start giving handmade gifts for birthdays and Christmas again. That’s a bit of a challenge too since the first birthday is my father’s, this Saturday.
Hmn… See where this is going? Too much commitment, too much stress… You know what? Scratch all that. This year I’m going to knit what I want and when I feel like it. Relax!
So, do you have a word for the year? Any big knitting plans?
p.s. I deleted my ravelry account last year and regretted that ever since, so I started a new account. You can find me here (username “maggienas”).
Linking up with Nicole at Frontier Dreams’ Crafting on
It was nothing special. Just a simple combination of family meals and a peaceful, quiet home. My favorite way of celebrating Christmas. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas too.
Okay, this will be a long one (feel free to skip this post), since I just want to get it over with. I worked on answering these questions throughout the week, so I did think them through.
15 GOOD HABITS FORMED – Did you form any new good habits? How did you do it? Hmn, I don’t think I formed good habits this year. Well, maybe my daily cleaning routine. That’s going quite well (though not every single day). Knowing what I should do each day helps me to pick up the pieces when I fall of the band wagon. The same thing goes for the weekly cleaning.
16 BAD HABITS BROKEN – Were you able to kick any of your bad habits this year? How did you do it? I mentioned it before, but it was a big one: eating when I feel emotional. I keep telling myself that I don’t need food to make me feel better. And that I never want to be fat again, because it had some huge implications on my health and my mind. That usually helps.
17 UNFINISHED BUSINESS – What unfinished business do you need to take care of in order to start the new year strong? Is there anything you can tackle before the month is over? Ha! Nope, not going to list all that. There’s so much I planned to do this year, but I never got to it. I just try to relax about it and do what I really need to do, nothing more. I have a bit of a deadline (um, a huge one!) for a lot things on January 10th though (I’ll blog about that later).
18 THEME/WORD FOR 2018 – What is your theme or word of the year for 2018? What does it mean to you? Relax. Last year’s was Rest and I did. Sort of anyway. I think now I need to relax. Not necessarily meaning I want to spent my time doing nothing on a beach or something like that (though that can be fun!), but more like a state of mind. I tend to overthink things. I am a perfectionist and a control freak. I need to relax. If things don’t go as I plan, change plans. Make lists, but be prepared to toss them. Be prepared for what might happen but stop worrying.
19 START DOING – Is there anything you want to START doing in 2018? Relax 😉 I also want to go for walks more often, even when the weather isn’t really inviting.
20 KEEP DOING – What would you like to KEEP doing next year? Blogging! This will be the year I won’t quit. Or at least, that’s my plan. I also want to keep knitting.
21 STOP DOING – Is there anything you want to STOP doing in 2018? Worrying. I don’t think I have to explain. My children, my parents, my siblings, the world. So much to worry about. But since worrying doesn’t help anyone, I’d really like to stop doing it and relax (there’s that word again).
22 OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE – We all have those things that are uncomfortable but could be SO good for us. How are you going to step out of your comfort zone in 2018? Well, inline with being more relaxed, I’d like to be more creative. I have so many things I love to do (knitting, sewing, writing, photography), but I tend to stick to what I know people expect of me. Next year I want to create for the joy of creating and share what I make without worrying about what people may think about it.
23 SETTING INTENTIONS – What intentions do you want to set for the new year? Do you have a plan for how you will carry them out?Be more mindful online – I’m working on creating folders in my bookmarks that will help me to make a distinction between connections (blogs I read and comment on regularly), interesting/inspiring (blogs or articles I want to read intentional) and well, mindless clicking (sometimes that can be fun). Embrace change – I always thought life would become calmer and steadier after the kids grew up, but that was a mistake. Things change faster than I can keep up with and more change is coming. I really want to embrace that, but I’m not sure how besides just going with the flow. Be kind – to myself, and to others. – I find myself being cynical and negative a lot and that has to stop. I try to be mindful about my reactions and work through the reasons behind them.
24 SOMETHING NEW – What is something new you would like to try/learn/create next year? I can’t really think of something really new. I think I have a lot of things going on already (knitting, sewing, writing, photography) and I want to be better (and more creative) at all of them.
25 SELF-CARE – You can’t pour from an empty cup. How will you make time for self-care in 2018? I think being more relaxed about everything will give me time for self-care. Right now I don’t feel I can go for a walk until my house is clean and everything on my to-do list is crossed off. I hope that will change.
26 CONTRIBUTION – We all want to make a meaningful contribution in this world. What are some ways that you can contribute to your friends, family, community, or the world in general? Help when needed, listen when people need to talk, give them my full attention when we’re together. I also want to be mindful about being part of a community. Online and in real life. I’ve been quite the hermit for a few years now.
27 EDUCATION – Education doesn’t stop when you’re done with school. How will you educate and grow yourself mentally in 2018? I found some interesting blogs about photography and I’d love to try some of the techniques they’re showing, especially on editing photo’s, since that’s my weak spot.
28 CAREER – Do you have any major career goals next year? Well, since we’re empty nesters now, my husband is already thinking about (partly) retiring. So my “career goals” are mostly aimed at finding ways to make a bit of passive income. I’m already doing some commercial blogging in Dutch and I want to try and expand on that by translating one those blogs (it’s about cleaning and organzing) to English and see how that goes.
29 2018 WILL FEEL SUCCESSFUL IF… – Imagine it’s December 2018. Complete this sentence and write about what a successful year would look like for you. 2018 will feel succesful if I look back at the inevatable challenges we faced and I can honestly say I handled them in a relaxed way.
30 TOP THREE 2018 GOALS – What are your top three goals for 2018? Start an English commercial blog Write/complete a book I know that’s only two (big) goals, but I think it’s enough 😉 I do have a lot of smaller goals but listing those would make this an even longer blogpost, so let’s not do that.
31 LESSONS LEARNED – What lessons have you learned through this year-end review? I’m not really comfortable with questions like this. I needed to commit to blogging about it to actually answer them. But in the end it was helpful to try to put things into words.
I’m following Bohoberry’s journaling prompts to review my year. You can read the first part here.
9 COULD HAVE GONE BETTER – What could have gone better this year? Were there any mistakes that you can avoid in the future? I’m not happy about the amount of time – and the quality of it – I spent online. I have tried to get offline completely for a while, but found myself mindlessly browsing pinterest or blogs that I’m not really interested in. I think quitting completely was a mistake. Next year I want to be mindful about my time online and use this time to connect (I really missed that when I quit blogging and social media) and to be inspired. I do want to stay informed about what’s going on in the world, but I think moderation is key.
10 MONEY WELL SPENT – What was money well spent this year? We spent a big amount of money on something I can’t talk about (not my story). But it was worth every cent. And then there was the money we spent on upgrading our house. We’re still far from done with this renovation, but it was money well spent since it will either mean having a better house or – eventually – selling it for a higher price.
11 PROGRESS TOWARDS GOALS – Did you make any progress towards your big goals?Were you able to check any off your list? I’m not sure if I had big goals for 2017. I had some writing career plans that fell short because of my burnout (I’ve had writer’s block the whole year), so that didn’t work out. But I also decided to rest and take better care of myself and I did make progress in that. I didn’t gain weight and I am working through some mental issues. It’s just going very slow.
12 NEW SKILLS LEARNED – What new skills did you learn this year? These could be business skills, something in your education, or even new creative techniques. Oh, that’s a hard one. I don’t feel like I learned anything new. I tried to learn about website monetizing and marketing, but I didn’t have time to focus, so I don’t think I could call that learning new skills. Wait! I know something! I learned to read crochet patterns. Or at least I learned enough to understand the one that I made the wavy scarf from. Branching out from granny squares is a big thing for me 😉
13 BREAK-THROUGH MOMENT – Was there a moment this year where you felt like you broke through a barrier or mental block? I’m close to a break-through. Or at least it feels like I am. Since I started answering these questions and even putting it all out there (that is scary), I’m noticing a shift in the way I think about things that have been stuck in my mind for a while. Examples? Well, I just realized recently that even though I had good reasons to quit personal blogging (I did quit and start a few times, more than ever since 2014), I also need the connections, the friendships, the opportunity to talk about simple things like knitting and home-making and things like that. I’m feeling lonely if I don’t have that. So now I’m trying to find a way to make it work.
1. Introductions I’m late to start this, but I scrolled past this challenge again (I visit her site often) and suddenly thought it might be good to force myself to think through the past year and look ahead to the new year I can’t really join though, since I don’t do facebook or instagram anymore (you don’t want to hear my reasons, it would be a long rant), but I can put it here on my blog. I don’t think I’ll post daily when I’m done catching up, that feels like too much of a commitment, but we’ll see what happens. I’ll skip the rest of the introductions, if you don’t know me from the rest of my blog, my about page is right here.
2. 2017 in three words – What 3 words best describe your year so far? tired – helping – fear Hmn. Really? So negative. But it’s true. The first word that came to me when I thought about this prompt is tired. Cause I am. And I have been most of the year. The year started with a real burn-out (I had pains in the chest, panic attacks etc.) and when I finally started to feel better, that second word came about. I helped one of my girls move to an apartment that she will be sharing with her boyfriend, I helped my parents move into a (much) smaller apartment and sort through their belongings to make it all fit, I’m currently helping someone to get grip on her household again, after being sick for quite a while. And I helped lots of other people lots of other times with lots of other things. It’s all done out of free will and with love. But I am tired. Both physically and mentally. And fear… I don’t want to get into details too much, but yes. Constant fear. Finances, health problems of loved ones, world problems. I try to shake it off and sometimes I succeed. But it does impact my life.
3. Favorite memory – What was your favorite memory of 2017 so far? Oh, there have been good times this year, really. My favorite memory must be sitting in an Irish bar on Gran Canaria (we always seem to end up at Irish bars when we’re on vacation) and singing my heart (and lungs) out with the live music. What kind of music, you ask? Rock, mostly hard rock even. I know. But it was just what I needed. (here’s a link to the performer. If you ignore his accent and focus on the guitar, he’s really good. And okay, everything sounds better if you’re on a sunny vacation island.)
4. Biggest accomplishment – What was your biggest accomplishment this year? How did you achieve it? I kept the weight off! I have to explain that, I guess. In 2016 I lost a lot of weight. I was really happy about that. But I’m an emotional eater, I binge when I’m having a hard time and all the other times I lost that much weight (I’m also a yo-yo dieter) it came back on when things went wrong in my life. But this year I didn’t. It has been a really hard year in so many ways, but I kept telling myself I didn’t need food, I needed to work through it. And I did. In fact I lost even more weight along the way.
5. Biggest challenge – What was your biggest challenge or obstacle this year? How did you overcome it? Well, apart from and related to no. 4, I guess my biggest challenge was to work through burn-out, depression and anxiety. I’m still not there, but I think I am doing better now. For me the best way to do this is to analyze what’s going on in my mind. Why am I thinking this? Is this realistic thinking? Where does it come from? What can I do to stop thinking like this? It’s hard work, but it does help.
6. This year I … – There are so many ways to interpret today’s prompt. Complete the sentence with whatever is in your heart about this past year. This year I tried to pick up the pieces of things that have gone bad in past years. I realize that is actually what living is about most of the time, but there were a lot of pieces this year in so many ways. Anyway, it had to be done.
7. Time spent well – What was time well spent this year? Helping my parents. Even though the downsizing was not an easy job to do, we’ve spent so much precious time together. Talking about what really matters in life, curating the mountain of stuff they couldn’t fit into the new apartment into a beautiful selection of their most precious memories.
8. Successes – What felt successful about 2017? Again? I guess I’m not good in these things. It feels like I’m constantly repeating myself. The weight, helping my parents. Really, I don’t think there was more. That sounds so negative, I know. I don’t mean to. It’s just the way it is. I had plans, ideas, things I worked on. I don’t feel they were failures, but none of those were a success. Yet. Maybe next year.
If you decide to follow my lead and blog about it, let me know. I’d love to read your answers to the prompts. I don’t have (don’t want) an Instagram account or the app, but I sometimes view/read from my computer. I can’t see stories or private accounts and I can’t comment, but I can see pictures and read captures and comments, so I can follow along if you decide to join the challenge there (yes, it is kind of hypocrit not to avoid all that is Instagram, I know that. It’s complicated..) Facebook won’t let me view without an account though.
NOT A STATION 