I sometimes struggle with the whole grateful thing. Sometimes I try and know that behind my simple gratitudes is a world of ‘despite…’ and ‘still…’, “but…’ and other not so grateful thoughts. And then I don’t post them at all.
But last week I went to Carole’s blog to link up my post for Three on Tuesday and her post really hit me.
She talked about how the things she listed were all things that didn’t go very well at first and the struggle to get to a point she could be grateful for them. And then she said: “then we get to feel thankful in a way that’s bigger and better and more satisfying because it took some work to get there.”
Wow! That really struck a chord with me.
So it’s not wrong to know that you aren’t just simply thankful for some things… It’s not ungrateful to know that it’s hard to be thankful for them sometimes… I know, duh! But also, somewhat of an epiphany to me. I have been trying to work up some higher serene feelings that just weren’t there (because, life) and now I’m finally starting to accept that it doesn’t have to be all that perfect.
So here are three things that I am thankful for today (despite…, but… etc.)
1. This house.
Talking about struggle… But it is all worth it. I already love it the way it is and it will be beautiful someday.
2. Living here.
I still get homesick every once in a while and there are times that I wished we never left, but I do love this island and the kind of life we’re able to live here.
3. Airplanes.
Ha! If I had to travel on a ship for six weeks to see my family I don’t think I’d moved here. I hate the flight itself (ten hours, no knitting allowed and I always have to force myself not to think about the fact that I’m in an aluminum tube going really fast and really high), but it takes me to my family, or back to my island and that’s why I am grateful that they exist.
Linking up with Carole’s Three on Tuesday
NOT A STATION 
Oh my gosh–I didn't know there an airline left with a NO KNITTING rule?! I, too, LOVED Carole's line from last week, and I love how you carried the thread through this week. Thank you for being yourself here.
LikeLike
Carole really hit on something last week didn't she? I'd never put the feeling into words before but I definitely get more enjoyment/feel more gratitude when I win the struggle over something. There's just more appreciation there than when things go easy from the beginning. They used to tease me at work because I enjoyed some of the super horrible tasks. I didn't enjoy them in the moment in fact, I down right despised a few of them, but after… after I/we had survived the task I always felt like a rock star.
LikeLike
I'm pretty sure I'd have to drug myself to get through a flight that long without knitting, but you're right that even when it's not a very fun process it does have the advantage of getting you to where you want to be much faster than the alternatives!
LikeLike
Spot on. Gratitude isn’t just all the happy, happy stuff. It’s real life with all the ups and downs. Thanks for this post
LikeLike
Oh yes, Dutch airlines are very strict on any pointed objects. I don't even think embroidery would be allowed.Thank you for that comment about being myself, it means a lot to me.
LikeLike
Yes, that's so true. When I worked in a hotel (when I was 18), I used to like cleaning toilets. Felt so good to get that task done (and everybody else liked me for volunteering).
LikeLike
Ha, yes. I try to sleep through most of the flight, but I wish I could knit. I also wish they would hurry up inventing even faster ways to travel 😉
LikeLike
It's really a big change for me, letting go of that expectation of pure happy feelings. I'm very grateful that Carole helped me realize that.
LikeLike
I love gratitude posts, but I also acknowledge that sometimes we just can't be full of gratitude non-stop. If we don't have lows, we cannot recognize the highs. Allow yourself to just feel whatever emotion comes.
LikeLike
Yes! That last part (allowing myself to feel) is what I've been struggling with. But I'm learning.
LikeLike
you know me. gratitude is the way i work through the hard stuff and celebrate the good stuff. it is a practice. and this practice has served me so well.
LikeLike
Yes, you're good at it 😉 I'm working on it, but allowing those buts, despites and afters does help a lot.
LikeLike