Three things I want to thank you (yes, you – daily readers, occasional readers, new readers, all of you) for:
1. the fact my little blog gets some pageviews at all really helps to keep going. I’ve had periods without any readers and though I love blogging for a lot of reasons, it’s more fun to see that some people are actually reading here.
2. comments. I know commenting on blogger can be hard sometimes (especially when you’re not signed in to google), but I appreciate it so so much when someone takes the time and effort to actually react to my daily chatting. It makes me feel like I’m having my morning tea with all of you, instead of alone with my laptop.
3. friendship. I notice that each time I post something really personal, I get so many encouraging, loving reactions. It feels like I’ve got some real friends out there. I really can’t put into words how much that means to me.
Even though – or maybe I should say because – I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and stressed these past few weeks (months?), I’ve been trying really hard to stop and notice the beauty around me as often as I can. I have always loved looking at the sky in times like these, though I can’t really put into words why (I’ll try anyway). It makes me feel… unimportant, small. But in a good way. It’s comforting to realize that the world is not falling apart because my little life isn’t going smoothly. And it makes me think about how important the things I’m worrying about really are. The house isn’t as clean as I’d like, I’m running late with work assignments, I didn’t post on Instagram for a week, I should be writing a book, etc. etc. So what? Things (even bigger, sad things like my mom’s disease) just happen because they happen. Sometimes to us or people close to us and then it hurts, but there are seven billion people on this little planet who all are going through something sometimes. Still, the sunset is painting beautiful colors, rainbows appear, the stars are shining brightly, the moon is going through her phases, the world keeps turning. Always. To me, this is comforting. So I try to stop and notice the beauty of the sky a few times every day.
I sometimes struggle with the whole grateful thing. Sometimes I try and know that behind my simple gratitudes is a world of ‘despite…’ and ‘still…’, “but…’ and other not so grateful thoughts. And then I don’t post them at all. But last week I went to Carole’s blog to link up my post for Three on Tuesday and her post really hit me.
She talked about how the things she listed were all things that didn’t go very well at first and the struggle to get to a point she could be grateful for them. And then she said: “then we get to feel thankful in a way that’s bigger and better and more satisfying because it took some work to get there.”
Wow! That really struck a chord with me.
So it’s not wrong to know that you aren’t just simply thankful for some things… It’s not ungrateful to know that it’s hard to be thankful for them sometimes… I know, duh! But also, somewhat of an epiphany to me. I have been trying to work up some higher serene feelings that just weren’t there (because, life) and now I’m finally starting to accept that it doesn’t have to be all that perfect.
So here are three things that I am thankful for today (despite…, but… etc.)
1. This house. Talking about struggle… But it is all worth it. I already love it the way it is and it will be beautiful someday.
2. Living here. I still get homesick every once in a while and there are times that I wished we never left, but I do love this island and the kind of life we’re able to live here.
3. Airplanes. Ha! If I had to travel on a ship for six weeks to see my family I don’t think I’d moved here. I hate the flight itself (ten hours, no knitting allowed and I always have to force myself not to think about the fact that I’m in an aluminum tube going really fast and really high), but it takes me to my family, or back to my island and that’s why I am grateful that they exist.
This happened last week and no, he wasn’t able to repair it (nor will the pro mechanics be, at least not for a price that will be worth it). We’re driving a rental now and halfway into buying an affordable, but reliable secondhand car. Let’s hope this week will be a smoother one… (not going to list everythng else that happened, but oh my… – just small annoyances though, no big sad happenings)
I really wanted to post this morning, but we left at seven and were gone all morning. And then I looked at the post I prepared for today and I didn’t like the vibe of it. Busy, busy, busy, fail, fail, fail. I’m obviously not able to handle lists of “goals” when I already feel overwhelmed. And yes, as someone commented on last week’s list, I was overambitious. And I didn’t even mention the mental list I have of things I want to do before we go to the Netherlands next month and the sudden realization that yes, I really want to see family and friends, but I do have to plan those meetings and then there’s Christmas and maybe Sinterklaas and… Oh my.
It’s time to take a deep breath, toss the lists, try to focus on what’s important (or just plain fun) and let go of the rest.
So I decided to post another random iguana picture today and wish you (and myself) a peaceful and calm week.
I’ve been thinking about blogging a lot. I wanted to add “lately”, but I guess I’ve been thinking about it a lot for years now and I know I’ve mentioned it before. I’ve had so many reasons to stop: lack of time, lack of readers, depression caused by not feeling good enough, not being able to make any money from it, things happening in my life that I didn’t know how to share, etc. But last week I decided to list some reasons to keep blogging and that was a much better approach. After all, I’ve been doing it for… ahem… over eighteen years (thirteen in English), so there have to be reasons for that.
1. I love writing. As a young child, I wanted to study journalism and work for a magazine (not for a newspaper, because I knew I was too shy for that). I still don’t understand why I had lost that dream when it was time to make choices about schools and careers. Having a blog is like writing for my own magazine. What’s not to love about that?
2. I love the whole process of blogging. Not just the writing, but also taking pictures to go with my stories, planning content, making changes to the layout of the blog, brainstorming new ideas. I just love it. Okay, and then there’s also the promotion and the marketing. I have to admit I don’t really like that part, but I think I’ll just wait and let things grow (or not) organically for a while.
3. I love the community. Mine is very small, but I do have a few regular visitors and commenters and thanks to them writing blog posts feels like gathering with a group of friends that like the same things I do (knitting, sewing, living simply). So good. I’m also trying to be part of the communities of other bloggers and on Instagram and I think I’m slowly finding my own little spot on that giant internet.
So yeah. I guess I’ll just keep blogging.
(bonus reason: I need a place to share random pictures of cute little lizards in my palm planter that look like they’re contemplating the mystery of the universe 😉 )
Good morning! Hope you all had a great weekend. We did. I decided to shake things up a bit and move the weekly goals list to Monday (easier to prepare ahead, I’m all about making my blogging easier and more fun these days). I did pretty well last week. I did underestimate the time it would take to shorten T.’s pants and resize my skirts, so I didn’t get to make a purse. I did make a bag for my knitting. Posts about the hats and the bag will follow later.
Last week’s list
✔ finish Christmas yarn hat ✔ finish dark gray hat ✔ work on cowl/showl (not finished yet, but I moved on to the shoulder part) ✔ make three skirts I bought at thrift shop smaller to fit into them (I liked them, but they are XXL – I’m S) ✔ shorten T.’s pants (three) ✔ make a bag/basket for my knitting (to hold current projects and bring them outside) X make purse to use daily (bigger than the one I’m using now, smaller than the other one I have) ✔ organize fabric and yarn (The yarn wasn’t much to begin with, but I’ll show you the fabric tomorrow)
This week’s list:
Knitting – cast on hat – work on cowl/showl
Sewing – make purse to use daily (bigger than the one I’m using now, smaller than the other one I have)
– start quilt? (I like this one – I have a lot of blue cotton and could use a sheet for the white)
Since these lists work so well for my knitting and sewing, I thought I’d add work, house, garden and life goals too.
Work – work on novella (23.000 words, have to finish it this month, I am at 2.500 right now, hope to get to 10.000 this week) – edit a new novel (just got that one in the mail – oh my, it’s going to be a busy month) – monthly taxes
House – declutter and organize entry room (it’s a mess!)
– paint (part of the) bigger bathroom (someone painted red over some graffiti, I have to paint it white before we can hang our medicine cupboard there).
Garden – prepare chosen spots to plant shrubs and trees that are in containers now, but need to be planted – work on clearing the part that one day will be my orchard/garden – “sow” avocado (prepare the pit and hope for the best) – sow kalbas (I hope the partly dried fruit I found has the right seeds)
Life – stay away from sugar (had a hard time with that lately, even though I know I can’t handle it. Went through the whole detoxing thing last week -didn’t have any sugar since Tuesday-, not willing to do that again soon, oy!) – go for a swim often (daily would be ideal, but at least a two times this week) – limit screentime (both computer and phone)
Let’s see if I can get this list checked off. I try to remember that these are just goals, ideas, and plans. Fun to write them out, nothing lost if I don’t get them all done. What are your goals for this week?
Last week was weird. Not really bad, but not really good either. I felt sick, but I really wasn’t. I tried to rest, but we had some broken nights (customers from Holland calling – time difference can be a problem). But at the end of the week, I managed to get my act together and actually do the most important things on my list. My Saturday was just as fun as I hoped it would be. I found some great stuff at the thrift shop and bought some very nice fabric and yarn. I’ll do a post about what I bought later. I even got to do a little bit of sewing. It was a wonderful day. I don’t know if it was the food I indulged on Saturday (should have known better, gluten I’m not sure about, but sugar and cheese are big no-no’s. I did enjoy eating it though), or the fact that I was out and about all day, or just the virus I’d been carrying throughout the week, but yesterday I was feeling really sick and feverish. So I just slept and rested and did a bit of light reading. Feeling a lot better today. Which is good, since there is a lot I want to do this coming week.
It still feels like a calm before the storm here, but I’m (sort of) getting used to it. Focusing on the house, the things I love to do (knitting, sewing, blogging) and taking time to really notice the good things around me, however small they might be, really helps. Having a lot of (paid) work to do isn’t too bad either 😉
This Saturday T. will be off the island for a day (for work). I’ll have to bring him to the airport early in the morning and pick him up in the evening. And then I have the whole day for myself. There are so many things I could do. Sleep all day for instance. I’ve been a bit under the weather this week, so if I need to, that’s what I’ll do. But there are three other things I’m planning to do and I’m really looking forward to that.
1. Visit thrift shops. We’ve got three of them on the island. One of them is only open on Tuesday afternoons and on the last Saturday of the month. We’ve never been there because it’s on the other side of the island. But I figure I’m already halfway there when I’m at the airport, so I’m really looking forward to going. I heard it’s mostly books, but books are good. I also really want to visit the one in Otrobanda, because that’s a real one. You know, furniture, books, clothes, houseware, the lot. I will sort of pass that one on my way back, so it’s only logical to go there, don’t you think? I’m not sure I’ll go to the third one though, it’s rather expensive and far from the other two. We’ll see. It’s not that T. doesn’t like thrift shops, by the way. He does. But he’s mostly looking at the bigger stuff and then he’s done, while I like browsing everything. And he hates when I look for clothes in thrift shops, but I want to see what they have here. In Holland, I found a lot of good things in the clothing sections.
2. Visit craft shops. Again, he doesn’t mind to go with me if I ask him to make a stop there (since we live out in the country, we tend to make lists of errands and run them all on the same day), but well, you know. Men don’t browse. Men want you to decide and go on. I want to think things through before I buy anything. But I “need” more yarn if I want to make everyone hats for Christmas and I really need some sewing stuff. Pattern paper, interfacing, things like that. There’s a shop I’ve never visited that advertised on Instagram that they have quilting cotton now. Oh my, I think I need to establish a budget before I go there!
3. And then, after a morning of fun shopping, I want to get my sewing machine out and sew. I need to hem some pants and curtains, but I really hope that I’ll also get to making something fun. A bag maybe.
Wow, I feel like the last time I did a Monday post was only yesterday… Last week was weird. A lot happened and a lot didn’t. My mom is home and more or less stable. The weeks ahead will be like a calm before the storm, I guess. She doesn’t want me to come over right now, because she’s determined to survive until after Christmas (we’ve already booked to go to the Netherlands in December). She’s also determined to get everything out of the little bit of life she still has. Enjoy being home with my dad, going out for a cup of coffee or to see the sea, buying plants and rearranging little things in the house and the garden, seeing friends and family. I really hope she’ll get a few months for that. Meanwhile, I find myself preparing for that sad urgent trip and trying to finish as much of my paid (bookkeeping, editing, and writing) work as I can. This is not a great state of mind to keep going for months, so I’m trying to be as hopeful as my mom is herself. Anyway, a new week ahead. I’m still planning to finish some of the bigger tasks and to get our house clean and organized as much as possible. We did two other ceilings this weekend, so now it’s just the bathrooms and the little hallway downstairs. Getting so close! I’m also trying to make decisions about blogging and Instagram, but I can’t find the time and headspace to really do that, so I’ll just go with the flow right now. I am actually knitting, so there is crafty content coming up soon 😉
NOT A STATION 